Let’s face it. We all have those days. When everything seems a little less positive, a lot less interesting and a shed-load less bright and cheery!
Things seem to be shifting these last couple of weeks…maybe it’s the change of seasons, a ‘coming out of the dark, cozy cave and having to make an effort again’, maybe we are just tired, or possibly, just possibly, it’s a complete coincidence that a multitude of my friends seem to be having ‘grey’ days! But emotions are running high, or ‘low’ actually!
Tough days can be overwhelming at times. We feel like we’ll never be happy again. And everything becomes overshadowed by that little gray cloud. To achieve more mental and emotional balance I have to remind myself to keep a few things in mind:
Keep ahold of that hot air balloon; What truly matters? Is it the end of the world that you broke a glass, that your best friend didn’t send you a ‘thank you for texting me text’, or that the woman in the post-office was particularly grumpy today?! Rather than blowing the little things into giant hot-air balloon of stress and negativity, remind yourself of what’s important, or rather…what’s NOT important! Ask yourself…will I remember in a week, a month, tomorrow; that the man at the bus stop looked at my hair funny???!
Stop comparing and worrying what others think; Yes; the girl next door always has a pretty dress on, your doctor seemed to think shaving your head was a bad idea, your brother thinks chocolate is evil….what do YOU think? This is one of my major traps, and something I am conscientiously working on at this very moment! We become so full-up of other people’s opinions, ideas and philosophies , we forget to think for ourselves. We no longer know what it is we feel, we think, we like. It becomes increasingly more stressful to try to meet all these expectations and judgements that we ultimately force on ourselves and….*KaBOOM*.
STOOOOP. Step back. Start thinking for yourself. What do you want? It’s such a weight off when we feel we have come to our own conclusions about things. We no longer feel we are trying to fill someone else’s shoes, and ultimately things feel a lot less heavy!
Don’t do the ‘I have to’ speech; I used to be a big list person. I’d list the things I had to buy, the chores I needed to complete, the bills I had to pay. I thought it was helpful. I thought it made me more productive and reminded me of the things I needed to do.
A very wise person, in a very stressful period, asked me ‘Did the lists help?’ ‘Did they make me feel more, or less stressed?’
I realised that my ‘coping’ technique was actually piling great heaps of extra stress on to my shoulders. This wise person challenged me to stop the list making, to trust in myself that the things that needed to get done, would. I became aware of the ever seductive ‘i need to/i have to’ conversations I constantly taunted myself with daily.
Try it! Replace the words ‘need’ and ‘have’ with ‘want‘…every time you hear yourself say, or catch yourself think these phrases; or start listing all the things you must complete in the next five hours, pause and think ‘what do I want to do right now?’. Maybe you want to pay that bill, or clean the kitchen! I havent forgotten anything important in months, I get more done, and I feel waaaay less stressed. Hurrah!
Stay present; This is phrase that is batted around a lot these days, but it’s a gem! Don’t worry about tomorrow, don’t stress about yesterday, enjoy what you’re doing and stay grounded. Sounds easy? Well, it’s not!!
Tomorrow is only a day away!; Bad days don’t last forever. The sun will shine again. Pick your cliché, but the pure and simple fact is…that you will not always feel *Bleugh*! Those blues WILL lift, it’s just a bad day and you WILL feel happiness and lightness again. We’re such drama queens when it comes down to it! When we’re feeling sad…we’ll never feel happiness in life again. When we’re feeling uncreative…we’ve lost it forever….Sheesh!
Do something to cheer yourself; I’m a firm believer in the small stuff. Not only do I love to obsess about it. (!!!) I have discovered the pleasure in getting your highs and boosts in the tiny details of life. They won’t banish the blues, but a bunch of flowers, a letter in the post, or a walk in the breeze can help lift you on the most dismal of days.
So do it for yourself! Light those candles. Burn your favourite oils. Make yourself your favourite meal. And breath in the small stuff!
Love and Bright Shiny Things!